my spirtuality


i really need help with this part.i am having such a hard time with my spiritual house,i dont know what to do .i pray and i try to keep my spiritual house in order.some days are ok and others are a shambles.but i do know ill never give up ,ill keep trudging and keep praying and trying to do the next right thing.i have so much to be grateful for,sometimes we get stuck or placent and forget what we do have to be grateful for..keep praying and doing the next right thing your heart tells you to do.


Be A Light in the Darkness (part 2 of 4) – Be Grateful



Illuminate a roomand glow
Tap into your soul and shine

#2 Be Grateful

Gratitude is light, joyful and yummy. Grateful people are happy,free-spirited and gracious.

Gratitude aligns you with a state of abundance and when abundance overflows, it wants to share.

Relish all the things you encounter throughout the day and feel grateful before you go to bed.

Be thankful whenever possible.

Be irresistable.

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about me


its kinda funny cause im the type of person that had to have control all my life.and if i didnt i always felt something bad was going to happen or i was going to be hurt one way or another.coming from a background of domestic violence, addiction,and mental illness you learn how to control situations bad or good..its just one of lifes defense mechanisms.but i have really been dealing and learning about my addictions and illnesses..with dual recovery classes and the 12 steps..and this one is a tough one for me {let go and let god}but im finding out the more i surrender the easier things hopefully i will be able to fully surrender and be happy joyous and free….but my life is getting better and im learn

Drive-By Snarking

Bipolar Lessons

Well, it finally happened. I had my first “snark attack” on my blog. Frankly I am surprised that it has taken so long for this to happen since I do post on some controversial topics. Even though it was an unpleasant experience it did spark some thinking on my part. In essence, how do you explain your illness to someone without making it sound like you are making excuses for bad behavior?

In the article in question I made it very clear that having bipolar disorder does not give you a free pass. However what I was focusing on was that there are people who have bipolar disorder who experience a break with reality, including me. Any court in the land would not consider that person to be responsible for her behavior. Now the area gets a little fuzzy when it comes to medication compliance, someone who is not…

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one large rant


so, i’m angry. very angry. to the point of a mental breakdown of tears, tears, and more tears. i don’t have many friends to begin with and there is this one particular friend that i shall give him the secret name of devon. you know, to protect his identity, of course because i am CARING like a care bear.

anyways, so devon who comes across as a very nice guy and a very caring, thoughtful, generous young man with high aspirations is a total SCAM ARTIST! i am so upset to the point where i am so angry and frustrated. i am nice to him, i care about him, i bend over backwards for him, i drove him places, i was there for him, and he doesn’t give a damn back! 

it’s like… SERIOUSLY?!!! oh my goodness. he owes me $80 in gas money because i drove him to his…

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“Loving Someone With Bipolar Disorder”

bipolar disorder is so devastating and can cause so much wreckage and damage if you dont know you have it!

Tattoos and Teacups

I came across a book – Loving Someone With Bipolar Disorder: Understanding and Helping Your Partner (Second Edition)by Julie Fast and John Preston, PsyD – while I was on vacation in Washington DC and decided to purchase it.


Super Quick Book Summary: The premise behind the book is to provide understanding about the disorder to someone who is not Bipolar themselves. It also suggests several exercises to potentially strengthen your relationship and help your Bipolar partner gain insight about themselves and how the disorder affects not only them but the people closest to them.

As we all know, one size does not fit all – especially in the case of books and this book in particular. I’ve heard of people thinking it’s a load of bologna and even partners getting scared out of their relationships because of what they read. In my case, the book fit…

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Let Go And Let God – In addiction recovery there is something called the Serenity Prayer. In this prayer (which by the way, is directed toward the God of your understanding) you ask for the serenity to accept the things you cannot change, the courage to change the things you can and the knowledge to know the difference. This saying of Let Go And Let God reminds addicts that they are not in control of everything. There are things that are out of their power to have an impact on. It is those things that you need to let go of and let them work themselves out.


well im not a person that likes pity

well im not a person that likes pity or cries on peoples shoulders.but i knew from a young age i was different and my life was different than the other kids.i was a loner didnt have friends got pregnant at a very young age,and from there my life spiraled out of control…i left home at 14 hitchhiked to washington an here ive been since 14 im now 48…i got here started running the streets partying and drinking staying where ever i could,and ended up [regnant with my daughter whom is now 30….long story short im 48 now and just figuring out what its really like to live with addiction and mental illness…if i would of had some sort of guidance in my life maybe my children and i would of had a very different life